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(More customer reviews)A quick test: Your daughter is getting married and has all of the
household gadgets she needs. Would it be appropriate to enclosed
in the wedding invitations that she and her future husband want
to go to Hawaii for their honeymoon and that cash would be
appreciated?
What would you do if your child was invited to a friend's
birthday party and the invitation listed the gifts that would be
desired? What if your child couldn't go and his friend's mother
told him to drop by later on to drop off his gift?
Stuck so far? Here's an easier one: A colleague at work has a bad
habit of mooching the snacks that you bring for your own use.
Should you send him a note, along with a bag of goodies, telling
him that for his own good you will not share any more?
Less you think I'm making these up, all three problems are
covered in Judith Martin's latest book, Miss Manners Rescues
Civilization. We live today in a society that feels etiquette can
be dropped for common sense, a society that laughs at people who
worry which fork to use for their salad. But Miss Manners (her
column appears in a number of newspapers) disagrees.
One of the major problems in today's society is rudeness. You see
it on the streets, in the classroom, in the workplace, and even
in the home. Just telling people to show good manners isn't
enough, though; we have to specify what those manners are! And
just telling folks to do what makes them comfortable is an
invitation to disaster.
Thus if we remember the specific rule that invitations are sent
to people we want to share our happiness and are not indications
that we expect gifts, we can avoid quite a few headaches. High
school graduates, for example, don't have to worry that an
invitation to a friend will suggest they are asking for presents,
and receiving an invitation from a friend's child does not mean
you have to fork over. It merely means you are being asked to
share in their happiness.
You will probably find a number of your own pet peeves here: the
doctor who calls his 65-year-old patient "John" but who wants to
be called Dr. Jones himself, the nephew who hasn't sent a thank-
you note six months after you mailed a nice gift, and the sales
clerk who ignores you while she finishes her telephone
conversation with a friend.
You'll enjoy her examples and may even learn some manners!
Click Here to see more reviews about: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing and Other Lapses in Civility
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